Tag Archives: Triablogue

Struggling With Pornography And Assurance Of Salvation

Despite my very strong disagreement with Jason Engwer in the comments section of this post, the article he wrote is excellent. If you’re a Christian man weary of the struggle with looking at porn, quitting, succumbing to looking at it again, then read this article. It encourages you to keep up the fight, but lays out why you shouldn’t despair when you fail. No excuses are offered, but comfort can be found once you’ve been able to take a step back and assess your walk with the Lord in spite of your struggle.


“The fact that your use of pornography casts doubt on the genuineness of your faith doesn’t change the fact that your pornography use and other sins are accompanied elsewhere in your life by evidence of salvation. Just as it would make no sense to look only at the positive aspects of your life while ignoring the negatives (like pornography use), it likewise would make no sense to look only at the negatives.”

Losing a Titan of the Christian Faith

Steve Hays of Triablogue has died. There was no warning signs that he was near his passing, no mention that was in hospice care, nothing. I think the first time I read material from him was 2006, possibly 2007. I’ve had his blog bookmarked for years and years, and I check it daily. His online presence was only though his very plain blog, but the text contained therein involved dissecting all kinds of opponents of the Christian faith in a methodical fashion that laid it out as clear as crystal for me and many of his readers. He would often make lists of the numerous problems contained in even a single sentence of his opponent’s replies. I loved reading it. He truly was sharp as a knife, and I already miss him greatly.

Steve Hays wrote the following toward the end of his Memoir. This is the most beautiful example of how a man of faith can see his end in sight, but look at his past life recognizing what truly mattered. It was a struggle to be sure, but for him, he realized the light at the end of the tunnel was close. It was all worth it. Christian men around the world can only hope to finish as well as brother Hays did. I’m so sorry he had to leave us, but he has gone on to his reward in paradise.

In the end, that’s what life comes down to. A Bible. A patient. A prayer. An aging, dying parent with a child by their bedside. Strangers–doctors and nurses–circulating through the room at odd hours. In the end, there is nothing more to this life. There never was. Just love. Immortal love. Love above and love below.

Yet even in the here and now, when the sun dips below one mountain, it rises high above another, under the gabled sky. A token of the life that was; an emblem of the world to come.

And so we see by matchlight. We journey by matchlight. But once the new day dawns, we will cast the matchbox aside.

Faith is waiting. Waiting in hope or tremulous expectation. We wait for God’s promises to come due–ultimately, at the moment of death. Faith, like waiting, is fatiguing.

Sometimes in life we know when we reached a turning-point. The worst is behind us. Nothing worse can befall us. Things will be better from hereon out.

Yet some turning-points in life are invisible. It may be just around the next bend or over the next hill, but we can’t see it. There will be a day or week when we do everything for the last time, although we may not know it.

For my sainted loved ones, the pain is past, the longing gone, the sorrow over, the patience requited, and the waiting rewarded. Far above the stars, where angels chime the watches of the night, they join the everlasting choir–in the tintinnabulations of a thousand-thousand bells.

Absolutely beautiful. It’s hard not to cry right now.

Thank you for everything you’ve done, brother Steve Hays. Now rest. Rest for eternity. May God bless you a thousand times a thousand times.

Censored by Triablogue?

I’m posting the comment exchange I had with Hawk at Triablogue. I’m using an image rather than pasting our individual comments just to make it simple. Here’s a link to the archived version here:

I did reply to Hawk’s 8/02/2019 2:09 AM response. My reply was visible, but removed later. I had not archived this article at that point, which is why it’s not in the screenshot. Fortunately, I had checked the box that said to email me with new replies to my original comment. That included my own replies, which worked out great because you can not only see Hawk’s final comment, but proof of what my follow-up comment was:

I did submit one more comment, but I got the message that it would visible after approval. Thankfully, I had copied and pasted that down and emailed it to myself just to be safe:

My thoughts:

i.) I assume it was Hawk who has restricted my commenting abilities. My comments usually appear instantly, and only just now they’re awaiting approval.

ii.) This is why my first article on this website dealt with the It’s Good To Be A Man project. Their influence is already reaching people, including other popular bloggers.

iii.) Hawk said there’s often two sides to a story. He’s right. I linked him to mine. He then reports that, “Apparently Michael Foster also spoke with you over the phone.”

Yeah, that’s right. But there’s nothing “apparent” about it. I directly stated that at the beginning of the article I posted for him to read. Foster confirmed that it happened- why wouldn’t he?

If Hawk only learned about that when he communicated with Foster, then that tells me he didn’t read what I wrote.

iv.) Hawk’s final sentence to me was. “It sounds like no consensus was reached despite fair attempts to do so. ”

I’ll repeat what I said to him in my removed comment: What does that mean? What consensus? What were we trying to reach an agreement on?

v.) I assume Hawk is fond of Bnonn and Foster’s work. It’s not surprising. Many people are fond of Douglas Wilson’s work too, despite how terrible it can be at times. However, Triablogue tends to be run by the most intelligent Christian bloggers around. For any of them to bury his head in the sand is beneath what I expect from their writers.

vi.) Hawk appears to be a new later addition to the Triabloggers. I assume he has some freedom to moderate comments. Maybe he’s a new guy, and he’s not accustomed to knowing when and when not to censor commenters. I’ve had intense sparring with Jason Engwer, for example, but he didn’t restrict my commenting abilities. As a 10+ year reader of Triablogue, I’ve seen plenty of obnoxious, rude, aggressive, harsh commenters that were permitted to comment at length on many occasions. There’s no way my comments to Hawk even came close to violating their standards of permissible dialogue.

vii.) Hawk has accepted what he learned from Bnonn and Foster despite proof of their dishonesty being placed in front of him. That’s disappointing, but not surprising. Feminism and complimentarianism wouldn’t be big problems in the church if Christian men were in the habit of scrutinizing teachers of biblical sexuality.

I’ve done what I can, and I will reply once more with a link to this article, just in case it persuades Hawk to give this subject further consideration. Hawk is more than welcome to comment on here if he likes. His comments will not be moderated.